And That's Who I Am
by onlyonekamui
Summary: A look back on Blaine Anderson, from the time he was born up until his meeting with Kurt Hummel.  One shot!


When Blaine Anderson was born, it was a cold November night. He was three weeks early and his parents had been told over and over again, they'd be having another girl. So when their little boy arrive, all they had to dress him in was a very pink onesie. But it didn't matter to them. Their dark haired little man was perfect and they couldn't have felt more blessed to have him in their life. However, his father made it a point to go out the next day and buy nothing but blue clothing.

No son of his, would be dressed in girl colors or like a girl at all.

When Blaine turned one, he was walking. His sister was much older then him and loved watching him while his parents entertained the party guests. Running into the kitchen, she tugged on her mother's arm, telling her she had to come see what Blaine was doing now. There always seemed to be a surprise when it came to this boy. Moving out into the den, Blaine was sitting on the piano bench, banging away at the keys. The smile on his face, the hefty laugh that left him was to much for words.

"Leah, that's to high up for your brother," his father said, coming into the room. Picking Blaine up, he kissed his cheek, but the smile from the little ones face was gone and he reached out for the piano. "Time for cake and presents champ," Mr. Anderson said, leaving the room with him. For the rest of the party, for the rest of the night, all Blaine did was fuss and cry until he wore himself off to sleep.

When Blaine was four, he was in his first year of preschool, day class. Every morning, his mother would lay an outfit out for him and every morning he would refuse to wear it and pick something out for himself. He had so much blue clothing in his closet and his mother loved to match it all up. This morning, he'd marched himself into his sister's room and stolen one of her pink shirts. It was long on him, but cute and his mother didn't have the heart to take it off him.

That afternoon, he went about his normal routine. Coloring, playing Barbies with his sister, even though she was getting way to old to play with them anymore. But then five o'clock rolled around and his was planted in front of the big picture window, waiting for his Dad. When his Mercedes pulled into the yard, Blaine bolted out the front door, wanting nothing in that moment but to be held by his father. Mr. Anderson got out of the car and scooped the little one up, but paused. "What are you wearing? Is that Leah's shirt?" Blaine nodded, hugging his Dad's neck.

Mr. Anderson put him down. "How about you go change?"

"Why Daddy?"

"Because boys don't wear girls clothes, Blaine. You're a big boy now. You wear your own clothes, not girls clothes." His father ruffled his hair and walked past him to the house, leaving Blaine standing in the yard confused. He looked down at his pink shirt and twisted the bottom of it into knots around his hands as he followed after him quietly into the house. No more girls clothes.

When Blaine was seven, he was the most popular kid in second grade. His bright eyes, his charming smile, the curls. His father had put him in every sport provided by the school and rec center and he was good. Blaine was the smart kid in his class, he was funny and had all of the teachers wrapped around his finger.

His favorite class, was music class. All the other kids would sing, but Blaine was different. He'd opened his mouth and he was always on pitch and his voice wasn't that of a seven year olds. His teacher was amazed by it and one day after class, kept him a few more minutes.

"Blaine, who taught you to sing?" she asked, sitting with him at the piano. Blaine played around with a few of the keys, like he was trying to listen to the notes so he would know how to play a song.

"No one. I just sing. Is it bad?" he asked, looking up at her.

"It's beautiful Blaine. You are very good. Do you like singing?" Blaine nodded vigorously. "Would you like to learn how to play this piano for real?" At that question Blaine's eyes lit up like Christmas. He hugged her tightly so many 'please' and 'thank you's' leaving him. Now he could be super good at sports and be super awesome in music. His Dad and Mom were going to be so proud!

When Blaine turned nine, things changed. He was playing football, because he really liked it. He'd only gotten better at singing and playing the piano, but his father hadn't made any of his concerts. He worked a lot and while it was nice having his mother there, he really wanted to see how impressed his Dad was. He always made it to his games though, so he couldn't really complain.

Blaine had a best friend now, Josh. The two of them were glued to the hip, loved all the same shows, played on the same football team, shared everything with one another. Blaine loved Josh and he assumed Josh loved him too. The girls in his class were always flirting with them and Josh would laugh and flirt back, but girls were weird and gross and didn't understand him. So he wasn't entirely thrilled when his Mom had invited them all to his birthday.

The theme was Star Wars, all the boys were running around with lightsabers while the girls had formed a circle under the tree in the backyard. Blaine's mother told him he had to be social with everyone, so grudgingly, he made his way over to say hello.

"-well when you like someone, you kiss them. That's what my sister says," one of the girls said, looking up when Blaine came over. "Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Blaine," she smiled. "We were just talking about kissing people you like. Do you have anyone YOU like?"

Blaine shrugged, feeling his cheeks blush. "Y..yeah." All the girls were very interested in him now.

"Are they at this party?"

"You should kiss them Blaine!"

"If you really like them! That's what you're suppose to do!"

Blaine felt overwhelmed suddenly and looked across the yard at Josh who was hanging out with a few other guys from their football team. "Really?" he asked them and they all just nodded their head, hoping deep down it was one of them. Blaine didn't just like Josh though, he loved him. Maybe he should have kissed him way before this. With a heavy sigh, Blaine walked across the yard, all the girls rather confused as to what was happening.

"Hey Blaine!" Josh waved happily, moving over to him. "This is the coolest party ever," he smiled. Blaine knew his cheeks were warmer and he smiled back at Josh. He really did like him and if this was what you were suppose to do.

The two boys lips touched and Josh pulled back. "EW! What was that!" Josh asked frowning. The girls all started laughing, whispering to one another and the boys all started laughing and pointing.

"I... I like you," Blaine said, feeling smaller then he already was. Josh looked horrified and he could hear the kids chanting about them kissing.

"I DON'T LIKE YOU!" Josh turned on his feet and went to tell the guy how gross Blaine was. The parents were coming out of the house with the cake, but Blaine ran past them all and inside, locking himself in his room for the rest of the party. His mother yelled at him for being rude to his guests, but she didn't understand. Blaine had just had his heart broken for the first time.

When he was in middle school, he was in Hell. Ever since his nineth birthday he'd been teased and talked about. The word gay was thrown around all the time. Every day, the boys would make kissy faces at him, kick him out of the locker room after gym class and games, till they were all done changing before he could which would make him late for class. Josh was the head of this little gang and introduced them all to the word faggot.

Some of the girls took sympathy which he didn't really want. He'd be invited to their parties and at first, he thought it was sad and lame, but they watched the best movies, had the best gossip. They loved when he sang all the princes parts in the Disney movies. A few of them even let him try kissing them, but there was nothing there.

Blaine had never told his parents about the kiss, didn't tell them that he didn't have a lick of interest in any of the girls at his school or in general. By eighth grade, he'd stopped playing sports. His father was so angry with him giving up with no good reason, but he told him he wanted to take more time to learn to play his instruments. Apparently, being a rock star wouldn't get him scholarships or any attention from college. And in this case, no attention from his Dad either.

The boy that used to wait for his Dad each day after school had grown into the boy that dreaded sitting at the same kitchen table with him for dinner.

"Try out for basketball?"

"No, Dad."

His mother would give him an understanding look, and he knew his sister would too if she lived at home. But she had finished college, she was living with her boyfriend in Chicago and he missed her.

"Blaine you need to be more active. What's wrong with you lately? You love sports! Josh's Dad was telling me the other day that he misses you as his tight end on the football team. You never hang out with the guys anymore-"

"I kissed Josh."

Blaine felt his eyes watering and he stared down at his plate, knowing if he looked his father in the eyes he'd be instantly judged.

"What." The tone, killed him. It was surprise and anger and judgemental. This wasn't the man that ran to him and swung him around the yard, cheered louder then all the other Dad's at his games. Blaine didn't feel like he knew who was talking to him now.

"Blaine sweetheart, you didn't- No, honey, it's fine, he's joking-"

"I KISSED JOSH. I kissed him at my birthday when I was nine. All the girls talked about kissing someone you liked and I liked him, a lot. He was my best friend and we cared about each other and I haven't felt like that about anyone else."

"So what, you're gay? You're fucking 14 years old! You don't know what the hell you are yet!" Blaine flinched when his father's silverware hit the plate. His chair screeched away from the table and he left the room, yelling about Blaine needing to grow up.

Mrs. Anderson watched her husband go, getting up to comfort her son, but he ran away from the table and upstairs. Now his father had labeled him. He was just getting used to the fact that being gay wasn't so bad, but the way his father was treating it, it seemed like a fate worse then death. But it wasn't. Cooling off a little, Blaine made his way back downstairs, where it seemed his parents were in the midsts of a heated debate.

"Yeah. I am gay. I know exactly who I am, Dad. I'm Blaine Anderson and who I love has nothing to do with who I am. You should know that, you're my parents."

There was a moment of silence, but his mother nodded. Blaine nodded back to her, before he looked to his father who wasn't even looking at him. Mr. Anderson didn't reply. Raising his eyebrows, he walked out of the room and in that instant, Blaine knew he'd lost his bond completely with his father.

When Blaine went to high school, things got better and worse all at the same time. The school was made up of three towns, so while he didn't see the jerks he'd been to middle school with often, word had spread that he was gay and people kept their distance. That was until they wanted to humiliate him and push him around.

This was when he met Tommy. Blaine had just been shoved into a row of lockers, when a hand came out to help him instead of shove him back down. The two of them talked all through their next class, after school, on the phone that night and for the first time in years, Blaine felt like he had a best friend again. They looked out for each other, told each other everything. Tommy told Blaine he'd come out to his parents the year before too.

Tommy had been the one to show Blaine where to find his information, showed him his first porno, which they'd both laughed through because while it was rather stimulating, some of it was just silly looking. People didn't really talk to each other like that in bed, did they?

Tommy loved to listen to Blaine sing, the problem was the music department at his school had been dropped to pay for repairs and sports. He'd asked his parents for private lessons, but his mother kept saying she'd 'talk' to his father. Nothing had come of it.

When one got shoved around, the other was there to stick up for them. Blaine was happy, reguardless of cruel words that were being tossed their way. So when the Sadie Hawkins dance was announced, Blaine was feeling over confident and excited.

"We should go together!" Tommy seemed nervous, but there was something intoxicating about Blaine to him so he agreed. This would cause a stir and show them that it didn't matter who you were with as long as you had a good time.

He thought it was best not to tell his parents where he was going. If they knew he was going to a dance with another boy, they'd never let him go. So he told them he and Tommy were off to the movies and would be back later on.

Arriving at the dance, they boy changed into their nicer clothes in the bathroom and went out into the gym to join the rest of the school. The looks they got were disgusting and they knew everyone was talking about them, but it didn't matter. Blaine was having so much fun dancing and talking with Tommy and vice versa. Before they knew it the dance was over and they'd made their way outside to wait for Tommy's mother to come pick them up.

"Hey! Faggots!" Josh had come outside as well with all of his new football friends. "What's up Anderson? Going home to have butt loving with your girlfriend here?" he asked, shoving Tommy off the curb. Blaine pushed Josh back, turning around to go help his friend up. Tommy looked horrified and Blaine didn't understand why. They'd always been pushed around and picked on at school. But there was a crowd now, a circle actually, forming around them. Camera phones were out, girls were giggling and Josh had torn the two of them apart.

"Josh STOP!" Blaine yelled, being thrown back into a few more jocks. Josh was moving to kick Tommy and Blaine couldn't help what he said next. "Don't hurt him because you're jealous!" All the kids watching laughed, some made the common, 'Ooooh' noise. Blaine regretted saying it immediately. It was also the last thing he remembered before fists started coming at him from all over.

When Blaine came around, he was in a hospital bed. His chest hurt, his face hurt. Everything. Mrs. Anderson was right there and relieved when her son came around, kissing his face and crying. She explained the teachers had come out and found the two of them beaten in the parking lot of the school. She'd talked to Tommy's parents and found out they were at the dance. She was so disappointed in him for not telling her the truth, but Blaine had grown used to his parents being disappointed in his choices.

"Where's Tommy? Is he okay?"

"He is, but he doesn't want to see you Blaine. His parents took him home an hour ago. They're transfering him to another school. Why didn't you tell us it was this bad?" She kept asking him questions, but Blaine just wanted to disappear into nothing. He'd pushed another friend away. All because he'd waited to make a point.

"I can't go back there Mom," he sobbed, covering his face. "I'm scared and I'm alone now and I can't-"

"It's okay," she said holding her son, wishing her husband had come with her. He was taking care of all the legal work, but she knew Blaine needed his father here as much as he needed her.

The next week, Blaine tested and got into Dalton Academy. His father showed signs of being proud of his son for getting into such a well known school, even if the situations they were under weren't of his chosing. He wanted Blaine to stick it out in public school, but for once his mother had spoken up about it not being safe for anyone, not just their son.

The first few days at Dalton, Blaine didn't say much to anyone. He was getting used to the dorms and finding all of his classes. He planned on passing classes and just getting the hell out of Ohio as fast as he could when he graduated.

Racing down the hall, he knew he was late for Chemistry, but he froze when he heard soft music. Music, right. He loved music and it had been so long since he'd heard a chorus sing. These guys were amazing. He knew the tune, but no one was singing the lead. They must have been practicing. He was standing right in the doorway, watching them smile and sway, not caring what anyone that walked by thought. The energy was outstanding and before he knew it, he was singing along with them. Blaine belted out the lyrics to _So What_ by Pink and no one stopped him. It wasn't weird at all he'd just burst into their practice.

When the song was done everyone cheered. "Gentlemen, I think we've found ourselves a new soloist." Henry, a senior at the time proclaimed. "What's your name kid?"

"Blaine Anderson," he said, his smile returning after what seemed like weeks.

"Well congrats, Blaine Anderson and welcome to the Warblers."

"We're kind of like rock stars," Wes, a sophmore said. "Think you can handle that?"

"I think I'd have to see it to believe it."

When Blaine was 16, his father spent a summer with him rebuilding an old car he'd picked up. At first, Blaine wanted nothing to do with it, spending his days working at Six Flags as Robin in the Batman show, but by the time he got home at night the light in the garage was on. The door would be up and there was his father, a mess of oil and parts, trying to get the hunk of junk to run again.

"Blaine, get in here," he said, forceful. Blaine knew what he was doing. He was trying to make him like boy things. Blaine already liked 'boy things'. Though it was awkward, he and his Dad watched all the major sports together. This was just another attempt at the man trying to make his son see the light, mature, like girls. Though what changing an air filter had anything to do with that was beyond him.

Still he humored his Dad and spent his summer nights, helping him until one night, the engine finally rolled over. His father hugged his shoulder and smiled at him and Blaine couldn't help but smile back.

"So?"

"So.. what?"

"So, Junior year. Any girls? You'll need one to take to Prom in the spring..." Blaine's stomach dropped and he put the towel down he'd been wipping his hands off on.

"No girls Dad. Gay, remember? That hasn't changed. And I'm glad to see you haven't either." His father opened his mouth to say something, but Blaine was already in the house and up the stairs, feeling his eyes start to burn. His Dad didn't care about his status in the Wablers, how he did in school. He just wanted him to be straight so it would be easier for him.

No matter how much Blaine wished it, it seemed like nothing was going to change. No one would ever really understand him. At least now, he had a supportive group of friends to help him get by.

The day Blaine Anderson turned 17, he walked down the stairs to a Warbler performance for the school. He ran over the Katy Perry lyrics in his head over and over, some of the guys that passed him on the stairs, wishing him a Happy Birthday. He didn't know what was so happy about it. He was still a year away from freedom of Ohio and his parents house. The only good thing was that the Warblers had qualified for Sectionals this year. All of his focus was on the music. 

This, was the day Blaine Anderson met one Kurt Hummel.

"Excuse me," he said, tapping Blaine's shoulder. Blaine snapped out of his own mind and looked up at the boy, instantly taken back. He was cute.

"I'm new here..."

_No you're not._

"What's going on?" He looked excited, but scared. Blaine knew that look. He'd seen it in himself so many times before.

He explained the Warblers were about to put on a performance. He also knew now he was going to be late and would never get through the crowd. He took Kurt's hand and told him he knew a short cut. And the rest, as you could say was history.

"And I know all this, because Blaine's opened up to me over the years." Blaine's father stood there, papers in one hand, his fluke of bubbily in the other. "It took me a long time to except who my son is, what makes him happy and to realize that his choices are no fault on me. I raised a strong, confident, wonderful son. It isn't always about me teaching him, he's taught me a hell of a lot more."

Blaine sat close to Kurt at the head table, his hand locked in the other boys. The tears had long since started running down his cheeks and Kurt kept kissing his shoulder, letting him know it was okay to cry.

"Kurt, you've brought the best out of my son. You accepted him for who he was, the instant you met him, love him unconditionally. And I know, no girl would have ever been good enough for him, now that I see the two of you together. It doesn't matter who you love, as long as you've loved in return. Congrats you two. I have to fantastic sons now." The room applauded and Blaine got up to hug his father, who in turn hugged him back firmly.

"I love you Blaine. I always have."

"I love you too, Dad." For the first time since he was four, Blaine felt like the bound was his father was perfect again.

**The End**


End file.
